for me

For me what happened

on Wednesday was like a

psychological rape

brutal

violent

ferocious

it was vital for me

to meet you, demon

for the reasons you know

and for other reasons

I will probably never 

be able to tell you

I know it was not your fault

but it was so abrupt

sudden and unexpected

that it emptied me out

completely

all our efforts have been

dissolved in the space of

a few minutes

I have cried so much

I do not think I have

any more tears to cry

I have things to do

for my blogs and

a very important event

coming soon and have not

done anything

I am devastated

I do not know what is going

to happen between us

I know you would like to continue

some sort of dialogue

I would like it too

but it cannot be as it was

otherwise I will die of 

frustration

I need some time to find

a new balance

today you have been so kind

and refined I cried of joy reading all

the messages you sent

once again you managed to touch

me deep down inside

and cure some of my pain

I will never thank you enough

for that and for all the things

you have done for me

you are a true gift that

I treasure as the most

precious jewel I have

angel, it will be clear by now

that me and you is never

going to happen

I think you are for a good part 

responsible for what happened

both last and this time

and this means that you have

understood nearly nothing of what

I wrote

you have not really seen

what was going on between me and him

you have been cruel and 

extremely disrespectful

leave me in peace

and from now on

whatever I post

here or somewhere else

that might look connected to you

(wings, Frida Kahlo, Pasolini, anything)

it has nothing to do with you

is that clear????