you know

I have not disappeared completely
you demon have
as usual
and you know
that it is the wrost thing you can do to me
are you angry, demon?
well, let's have a fight
let's have a proper fight
are you scared?
I am scared too
fucking scared
and I know it is also my fault if things went wrong
and I am truly sorry
(are you listening, demon?)
but I really was exhausted and very nervous
otherwise I would have acted differently
I am angry, in pain and completely upside down
and am trying to find back some balance
there are other reasons for my decision
to cut both of you out
and I wanted to talk about it that evening
but we could not talk
so for now this is the state of things
I do not even know
if you demon
would accept my contact request
in case I decided to do it
I still need to speak with you
now more than ever
and be with you
it might not be in this period or in this life
but somehow I hope it is going to happen
as I need at some point to speak with you
angel but now things are pretty fucked up