free Derry

I have already lost you

so many times

and I have had you so many times

and I immensely thank you for that

but I have never had you

in the way

I wished

never

in the way I asked

I suffered harassment

and heavy psychological violence

for you

what is there left

if not the truth

my truth

my version of things

my voice

in these messy strings

of events

bent

and distorted

to destroy my

sanity and thwart

my dream of love

I do not want to hurt you

and still love you so much

but cannot stay silent

not after last week

and the peak

of actions

organised

against

my reactions